Thursday, September 21, 2006

Another dream...

Some nights ago I had a very weird dream. Actually, it made more sense than my last one cos you can really tell what it was influenced by. I had to spend quite a lot of time during the last week using AutoCAD and Photoshop to complete my assignment. It wasnt hard after you got used to the commands in AutoCAD but you need like 4 commands just to initiate 1 action. And the commands are VERY specific. So it took a lot of time and we had to think strategicly about how much detail we wanted to put into the project. Funny how worked up you get by a simple drawing. I guess i could have turned in a half assed project and passed anyway. Somehow i just couldnt get the idea out of my head that if i didnt do it the way i wanted to I was going to fail. I started this project kinda late because I wanted to work on my essay first. I didnt want all the books to be checked out of the library and returned after they were due. To make matters worse, since it is partially based on the last assignment we did about photography and collaging I found out that making the shot more complicated was a bad idea in terms of labour intensity. And then there were the idiots who wouldnt stop talking throughout the day in the computer lab. They could have spared themselves a few hours of being there if they didnt bitch about being couped up in the Uni on a Friday night. And blasting music. As if I wasnt suffering enough. They had less work to do so they can take time out to blah blah about it. This was one of those moments where I want to snap and tell them off and be selfish about my needs. Like just have a burst of anger and burst everybody's bubble so that they can go cry in their blogger account on how some bitch ruined their already ruined evening. And I had another assignment our studio had to do that same week. Thank God they were both done on time. The next one is due next Friday and we were just given a new one yesterday.

Our studio is now moving on to design a house near Margaret river. We also have to do an abstract painting. We were assured that it didnt have to be too complicated. Ha. Right. It just has to make sense thats all. (have you ever tried making sense of abstract painting? and bearing in mind that this is not just about art its about presentation blah blah it has to look good, make it center to the sheet etc) I made a poster in digital media and it was supposed to look natural, but she said something like cut out the white border (that appeared while printing ,duh u cant print over the extent of the page) and even though its supposed to be natural you have to make this line straight etc. ugh. It wasnt even a technical drawing. I hope you got all that now be creative. -.- At least everything else but the studio is straightforward. Even the computer assignment. I think as a studio coordinator i prefer Charlie. He worked us harder but he also gave us more personal feedback and bothered to explain ideas to us. I almost understood why I didnt like my current one today when she didn t come into class. I guess its the charisma factor. She doesnt give us much of herself at all. THeres almost no need for her as long as we have the course outline. Its like all she ever does is demand ideas out of us and then tells us what does and doesnt work. Charlie did the same thing but I guess the difference is he wasnt afraid to tell us what he thought personally of it. I guess in essense i dislike her because of my own weakness. Shes not helpful to me because shes the same as me? I cant talk or even argue with her unless she has an opinion other than whats wrong with the picture technically instead of the concept behind the design. Its frustrating because it inverts what i think of her back at me and i wonder if what i have come up with actually worth discussing or analysing anyway. Like maybe its just not creative enough to deserve her attention. People who do get her attention do well enough without her help and its like they are so sure of what they have to do they can justify any decision they make even if it breaks conventional rules.

So it came to be that i had a dream where i was in Charlie's studio and I was really happy about it cos we were certain to do something fun and challenging. And he told us that we were going on this trip on a spaceship into outerspace to survey the land for a space colony we were going to design. You can imagine how excited he was because it was going to be something revolutionary and we were going to be the ones who designed it and our designs could possibly set the foundation as a source of inspiration for this new civilisation or whatever. And in my dream something went horribly wrong and I didnt finish this assignment that i need to complete in order to go. As I remember Charlie was pretty astounded by this not to mention terribly dissappointed at me. He asked me in my dream "Do you actually enjoy feeling useless?"
No I dont. No one does. He wouldnt say that to me in reality but he is the type to say that looks rubbish or crap or whatever. I kinda wonder why this should affect me. Its like I aspire to be as charismatic as he is and if he were to ever say that to me it would be like affirming that it is a hopeless aspiration for someone like me. Well, in real life at least i got the assignments done. As for being creative I just have to try harder and be more certain about things. Just have to find out what those 'things' are.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Yay! Art blitz!

Last Friday I met a fellow otaku at the library. She was supposed to be doing the same thing as me but she lapsed into anime. Ouch. Her boyfriend didnt know what to do with her so he dropped her at the library to research. Right, treat the library as a nursery for uni students why dont you. Guess it was a fitting for her to just sit there and draw then. Like a goood little girl. She even took out an art book for farm animal to reference drawing animals. Like horses for example. And she even drew the Riders of the Apocalyse. (As bishonen....) She was actually very good. I love how she draws guys. Note to self. If youre ever going to show anyone your artbook, clear out anything you wont want others to see. Like yaoi. Couldnt help thinking that i wish i could draw like that too 0.o
She did a quick sketch of Esther after I told her about her. It was too big to fit the printer so thats y it had to be at such a weird angle.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

That last one sounded better in my head

Esther awoke that morning in a red haze. Without opening her eyes she tried to recall last night's nightmare. She was sure there was terrifying music playing in the background and acrid smoke in the air but all she could picture were the dark figures dancing across her dreams. It had been dark, but figures had been wearing masks. She was sure, however, from the outlines their bodies made in the weak light they were beautiful women. Something she had known about them in her dream made them hideous, their dance more suggestful and their movements more deceptive.
Perched high above them were the men like birds of prey. Omniscent and shadowy, Esther couldnt discern their form in the dark. What frightened her the most was the fact that she existed. The shadows saw her and realised her presense. She was not invisible to them. And all it took was for one word, one single command for them to fall to silence. The women stopped dancing and she could feel the intensity of every stare in the room. And it didnt matter to her that she couldnt see their eyes or if they had any at all. She could feel what was in their hearts. It was fear. These terrible dark figures saw her and were terrified. And she had stood there laughing a their fear.

Now lying in the sun with her body carving a warm niche into her bed, it wasnt worth the anxiety struggling to remember the dream. She was tired despite a full night's sleep, and knowing what lay ahead made her all the more weary. She'd rather stay in bed and forget that judgement was upon her and just lie there so that she could prevent herself from being part of a whole sinful enterprise. Unfortunately, as long as she was the heir to her family's fortune, the funds were supporting the whole system of abuse like well oiled machinery. Just existing was a sin. Maybe that dream was really a vision and she was an abomination to the whole of Creation...but now she could escape into non existance if she could just go to sleep......

...and she was awoken in the manner she most detested that morning. She was kicked awake by her mother. She had managed to fall into a sleep so deep she couldnt hear the shrieking. She sighed. It was one of those days that went out of the way to be unpleasant to her. Her mother had already started to lecture her. She wasnt aware of anything she'd done to deserve it. She'd just woken up. Because her mother was in the room there was no avoiding it, she had to let the servants groom her.

Personally, she hated anyone who she didnt care about coming in close proximity of her body but her mother really couldnt see why she'd want to do her hair herself when they could pay someone else to do it better. For 20 minutes they fussed over her, picked the lint off her coli, helped her into her stockings so she wouldnt stretch it and smoothed out any imperfections in her skirt and jacket. It was more of a custom if anything else. How else could one exert their self-importance if they didnt impress upon the servants their lowly stature? She gave up on trying to make friends with them a long time ago. They either pitied or detested her.

It was already 7.30. With her mother hounding at her heels she tried to search for her schoolbag. She could've sworn that she'd put it besides her desk the night before. She rushed through the maze of corridors wondering if it could be in one of the studyrooms or private libraries. The thought struck her she could be a victim of a little dare the servants had going in between them. Getting the boss's kid into trouble was one of their little perks. Well, at least she made someone's life worthwhile. Even the victims of her family had someone to oppress.

In these moments she almost wished she was as cruel as her stepfather. No one would even think that they could get away with this shit. But the moment passed and she was back at being herself. Just another idealist whose morals had no place in the society which she was born. She called Alice, a good-natured elderly maid to help her while her mother went down for breakfast. She wouldnt follow because she hated spending time with the family. Too bad the feeling wasnt mutual. Like the servants Shan enjoyed kicking his stepdaughter around. Of course, she wasnt his. He hated her presense simply because he didnt think it was necessary, she was simply a means to an end. He knew she saw right through him unlike his new wife, and it was a hobby of his to mock her right in front of her mother who was none the wiser. That morning he commented that she lacked her mother's grace and poise knowing she was hectic to get to school on time. Why was that? It only encouraged Li Bao Rong insecurities surrounding her daughter's unexplainable behaviour. She really couldnt understand why any child of hers could be anything less than a social butterfly. It was unexplainable how she could have a daughter so different from her that she reached the conclusion that she tooked after her father. Dear God no. Not after she had sacrificed perfect body to bear a child. She was not about to let her daughter slip pass her hands. She had thought she was saving the child when she locked him away but good. If there was anything her marriage taught her, it was how to brow beat someone into getting your way. But of course she didnt see it that way. She just wanted her daughter to be more like her.

Knowing she only wanted the best for her daughter she knew that Esther would require to be pushed in the right direction. Her days were perfectly regimented. Her diet was carefully watched and she took advance from specialists in behavioural science to get her results. Only a mother would know what was best for children. She was determined to save Esther from becoming what she feared most, someone else. Someone she didnt quite recognise because she was a being apart from herself. A being who had other thoughts in mind other than what she had wanted and expected for her. Someone she didnt understand. A stranger, just like her husband. It chilled her that she had gave control of her life to a man who was always so complex and brooding. Constantly turning heavy thoughts in his mind and setting impossible standards.

It daunted her that she would lose control of her only daughter to a being like that. She had always thought of her husband as heartless. Whenever she was around him she had always felt lost inside. He had a very powerful presense and she could be easily swept away by his intellect, his dominance. She felt so small next to him, and she felt as insignificant as a child facing a storm. She had never understood him. She never had his heart.

Esther did.

It was something else that Bao Li didnt understand. How someone as high and as mighty as her husband could lose his head over a little girl. Her husband wasnt the sort whom she believed had a soft spot for family. She added this perculiarity to his list of complex contradictions. He could be kind and compassionate towards those that needed his help yet ruthless towards those who wouldnt comply to its standards. He believed in the value of humanity even though he had taken more than one human life before. He loved justice but wasnt above twisting it towards his own means.

She never experienced the reality of life the way he had. The way the world had tried him and forced him to compromise his ideals. People, as always, were cynical, unwilling to encourage or even accomodate those values which they had turned their backs on, which made life difficult, even painful to live through. They tried to break him and force their humiliation upon him. As if by creating new victims to shoulder the shame they could assuage theirs when they were forced to abandon their own principles. He had realised quickly how vain it was to hope that his lofty ideals should be accepted bya city rife with crime, yet he remained distinctfrom them in one way. He would notbe rendered helpless. Society hated him

(to be continued)

There had to be something within the child to make her husband fall like that. Between the two of them she felt like there was something ominous, something fearful. She protected Esther the only way she knew how.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

What it feels like...

A girl stood alone in the dark. No shadow, nor sudden shift of movement in the dark caught her attention. She heard no voices. It was quiet in her head tonight. So quiet that she could hear herself think. She often wished for these moments so she could find a sense of peace. How funny, she had thought that she'd be able to distinguish between what was truly herself and not the front she used for others during the day if she could just be alone. She almost longed to hear those smooth silky voices that cut through her thoughts during the day and jeered at her at the back of her head. Hearing them was like a pierce to the heart with a concealed weapon but hers was already so hard and calloused that she hardly felt the ache anymore. Not even in the security of her night-blackened room. She tried to feel something of herself. Some emotion that didnt arise from the instinct to protect herself from 'them.' She couldnt even find the anger in herself to hate. It was like some thick fog was preventing her from finding her way to her own heart. And she had laid so many false trails for others to follow to prevent them from reaching her innermost desires and feelings that in the end, she too had lost the true path. Now she was lost and astray,without a heart, silent within the darkness of four walls.

It wasnt that Esther hated being alone because she felt lonely. It was only when she was around others that she felt it for the lack of what it was. Companionship. Some nights when she couldnt take the high silence of her mansion, her asylum walls within prison towers, she'd disable security, creep between the shadows, pass the guards and climb over the walls to freedom. Once there, she'd wonder around aimlessly like a ghost, trying to find someone to come into contact with. And, like a ghost, she'd disappear from the city and its populance once the day came. She could never really find what she was looking for so she would haunt the streets night after night. In this way, she truly felt like she was living a shadow of a former life. She wasnt living, just existing. Despite knowing this, she couldnt break free. Saving herself would mean destroying other lives. So every morning, she would be back, smilling hypocritically for all those who wanted to bring her down. It was hell but it was the only thing that made her feel alive. Making a difference. She's live another day just to let them know they'd never win.

She was just another girl with smooth skin, eyes the colour of oak and wavy hair that reached her waist. Without her heart, she was just an ugly girl with pale skin, bags under her eyes and lengthy hair wondering the streets of 'Tokyo' at night returning to her private hell in the morning.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Much better

Yesterday I finally came out of bum-age mode. It even shined for a couple of hours. hurray! You-know-who-the-witch is still ignoring me and talking to the popular kids but at least I got a plan that I'm satisfied with. Thank goodness. I was out of ideas until Sunday night. Then I stayed up all night to finish it. :) I still did some modifications the next day but at least everything is sorted out and there are no major issues. Its a good thing that WOMAN has an assistant who isnt biased. She actually does bother to see me and talk about the design when THE OTHER ONE is ignoring me even though I had more work done than most people and would like to have a second opinion on it like if there are problems to be addressed.

The project we are working on is called a roofhouse. We have to design a roof that can be inhabited by people. Think of it as an attic house. You're not allowed to mess with the elevation or intrude on the people living downstairs. Meaning the 'house' is pretty much divided into the roof and the ground floor. So to save space in Australia we have to live off other people's head. Cool. But they get the walls and the flat ceilings. Someones going to do a parasitic theme for their house cos thats what the idea sounded like to them. Another person wants a (Japanese) courtyard in the middle with a sunroof on top. As long as u dont put a balcony in the front to embarrass ur neighbours ur good. I really liked this guy's idea to 'create an open space within an enclosed area.' Looking at his plan it seemed like he designed the interior walls to look like a jungle gym. I think he was really pleased that I commented that it was cool cos it gave the impression of camping in an open space since you'd be able to see your surroundings as well. His idea was not to have a physical wall but an impression/imprint/suggestion of it so you'd be more able to move around the house freely and give the rooms more flexibility. I just love these concepts.

What's mine? A house for a bum. To be more accurate: a house for relaxing and a personal sanctuary that is open to visitation. So yea. my house is for the bum lazy and her friends. Come over when its done.
It was a good thing the assistant told me that I wasnt supposed to build the staircase leading up to the roof in the garage. "ur not allowed to intrude in their lives blah blah u have no rite to be there." Its a garage! And that garage in particular can fit a boat!. Its like what, 5400mm. You can fit a boat in there. In fact, I have a library/study built on top of it. Thats the whole purpse of building a staircase there. What would i intrude on, the car and a bicycle? I mean, if u find a balcony on a roof embarassing how would u feel if ur other neighbours constantly ask u why is there a staircase outside the house leading up to the roof. At the very least I now put my staircase at the side of the house where it is blocked by the garage. I'm glad she pointed that out. Plus she helped me with the plan a little. Its nice to have another opinion to sort things out.

BTW-My roofhouse has a jacuzzi <3. The bathroom looks like it belongs to a palace. It even has a skyline at the top. I just enjoy those idle moments:) I'm really happy that there are no creepy corridors in the house either. I hate those. The front plan of the house is secluse yet allow a lot of light in as it has the north facing, so the bedrooms and the library occupy this area. The bathroom is roughly center with the skyline providing the source of light and ventilation. Towards the end the living room, dining area and balcony sort of open up to one another, no walls or barriers so if u open the doors into the balcony u can let the breeze in to ventilate the whole area. P.S. The bathroom is bigger than each of the bedrooms and theres an entertainment center in the living room so we can play ps2 and maybe even DDR :)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Leeeeeeeeeembik

Anyone have any idea how to avoid being one?
Call me.

Lately I've been feeling kinda bewildered. Nothing new. Is it me or is the bitch level in Perth rising? And people were worried about the decrease in rain fall. At least its been raining these past few days. Whos going to save us from bitchy architects and their pet(assistants) in the meantime.
Captain Planet? Pleease.

I need bitch training. Natural selection. You understand.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

My rp character's biodata

Esther Mei
Age 16-18

Family History
Esther Mei is the sole heiress to the (surname) business empire , a family run business specializing in pharmacology. Their fame in the medical world is preceded only by only by their notoriety in crime. They use their multimillion dollar empire to monopolise trade in their country. They also control the very production of the drugs they develop so they can reap in the profits. The company is also very active in the stock market and has strong control (or at least influence) over it. This is done largely through blackmail, since they control about 78% of the nation’s drug production. They are considered by some to be the most powerful people in the country, having received diplomatic immunity from the government (since they are needed for their expertise in the production and development of medicines and besides they help flow the cash in). They are also known to be as cruel and as ruthless as any mafia. They are used to getting their way and getting away with it. It is no surprise then they exploit the very metropolitan city they live in, which was corrupt to begin with. (their other crimes include trading medicine to underdeveloped but resource rich countries for shares in companies, land rights businesses deals etc and exploiting people in the worst possible way.)

Background
In the midst of it all, Esther is a forlorn girl who grew up learning the value of money and spending the last 11 years of her life being molded into the perfect tool. Her mother is the current head of the business empire since her father was suspended due to madness. By right Esther should have taken over as she has the fortune written in her name, but as she’s underaged, her mother has used her position as her parent to bring the company under her control (instead of leaving it in the hands of her husbands colleagues). As heir, Esther is constantly under lock and key, following a deadening routine to fashion her into an elitist. It doesn’t help that her mother somewhat despises her and makes her life hell because she is jealous. On top of that, people who do not like her family tend to take out their hatred on her. She goes to a snobby private school where even the rich kids call her a ‘rich bit*h’.
At home she has to deal with rude servants who hate serving her family but otherwise fear her mother’s authority.(they single her out because they don’t see her as the boss yet and her mother does nothing to rectify this behavior). She deals with their insults and loathing by keeping an arrogant demeanor to prevent them from getting the better of her. To others who don’t offend her she can appear to be civil and polite yet somewhat cold and blasé. Inside though, she often feels the burden of all the pain her family has caused and feels somewhat responsible. She often lacks the confidence and decisiveness she portrays to others when it comes to herself since she is not completely immune from the hurtful way people treat her. She hides this by being cool and reserved, so much so that she appears to be under her mother’s thumb like anyone else.
She longs to have freedom to live according to her conscience but concedes that she is at least better off than most people subject to her family’s tyranny. (If this was a manga there’ll be a scene where she is being driven in her own limo while having a conversation with her mother or something like that…and she sees a large screen on a building like they have in KL or Singapore showing children from impoverish nations with ragged clothes smiling and wonders outloud why they seem happier than most people who live in the city. Maybe it’s because they are free. Her mother/or her boyfriend would say some retarded crap like there is no such thing, people have responsibilities such as paying taxes, dealing with the living expenditure, and even struggling with meaningless jobs in order to survive. Money is the only way out of that life. Those people are probably smiling because they know they are facing death and have no more worries. Esther will be disturbed by that but silently agrees. Maybe dying is a preferable option than having someone manipulate your life. )

The formation of the RAFA roleplay
A strange turn of events that followed saw Esther develop into a crimeboss long before her coming of age. It seems that the production factory had an underground workers union comprised of the immigrants from the poorer nations and also the lower classes of society. They formed a rebel group that occasionally sabotage plans and stuff and smuggle drugs to needy countries. They were poorly organized, however when the leader took a liking to Esther and she took their side secretly and began planning and strategizing for them. Under their combined guidance the group was beginning to be a force to be reckoned with until the leader was killed by a hitman sent by none other than Esthers own mother. This sobered up most of the workers but quite a few remained loyal to Esther without knowing who she really was. The lost of her friend made Esther lose direction for a while until she met 3 other friends who helped her stick to her principles and gave her some confidence back.

Her current status
Now she uses skills she has learnt from family members in preparation for business, namely negotiating, blackmailing, exploiting, conning, kidnapping(VIPs, no children) to rob and sabotage her own family’s business. She has since developed a special school/institution to train (corporate spies),spies, assassin etc for this purpose seeing as the authorities are either part of the system of corruption and abuse or are too scared of Esther’s anyway since the they are above the law. They have caused so much commotion her mother became more occupied with business that she was hardly around anymore to control her and so the servants and workers had to pay more respect to her and begin to her accept her authority. Gradually she began to take charge of minor businesses which she uses to fund the school and gradually add to her funds where before she could not make any decisions based on money. And so began her life of crime

Goals
In reality, not all her family members are aware of how badly their business is affecting the people working for them. Being the talented businessmen that they are they simply do what will bring in the most money and allow the lower levels to carry their decisions out. The people who enforce these decisions vary from those who are seeking power, those who want to advance in life, those who thrive on other peoples pain or greedy people. The family members vary among themselves as well. Those who are aware of what they are doing are just as bad. Some however, are just plain ignorant or have accepted that business is just full of corruption (given the state of the city they live in). Others still will just do what they can to elevate some of the injustices by being fair themselves, but will do what the head of the family/corporation will tell them to do or fall victims themselves along with their own family. Thats the price of integrity for you. Esther’s goal is to sort out the bad ones and destroy their businesses and if necessary wipe them out. Her main nemesis is her mother’s new boyfriend who was her father’s colleague. He is manipulating her status and power while she is using his expertise to run the business. He understands completely how the business runs and human rights is not something that concerns him. He is in charge of all the petty crooks and has dealings with the mafia.

Plot
In fact, Esther’s father’s will states that if she is to inherit the corporation, she must earn 1 billion dollars before the legal age limit or the corporation will go to the next suitable candidate. (which is her mother’s boyfriend). (1 billion isn’t much cos they are a multibillion corporation. It was originally designed to test that she had at least some business sense not to lose money over a certain amount of time.) To prevent this from happening the both of them prevented Esther from having authority over any of the family’s business. But as it is Esther is gradually getting some control over small businesses and generating income (secretly). However, she must be very careful not to let her true identity be discovered and risk losing support while at the same time try not to get killed by hired assassins while doing her job

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Homework

Uni wasnt so bad and neither was the nude thing. It was a girl. A women actually. Really nervewreaking since we are not allowed erasers and we have to draw poses over poses. From sitting position to standing up. So u can see the figure on the paper sort of moving up. Or blossoming like a tree if that makes sense. Each one in 15 mins. She stood in a frame and we had to draw that too.

Remember when I said drawing in that studio made me really self-concious? Well today I didnt have time to. The next session was when we posed for 20 minutes in 10 different poses giving us 2 mins to capture each pose on paper. I'm kinda pleased on how my drawings turned on the 'Extreme perspective exercise.' U have to exaggerate parts of the body in order to convey the POV of the viewer. That exercise was interesting for another reason because everyone was sitting around the model, and when we got up to look at the different drawings we could see the same pose from different angles. I didnt like the continous line exercise. The pose was really relaxed and graceful but since I didnt have the experience at NOT LIFTING MY PENCIL FROM THE PAPER WHILE TRYING TO DRAW SOMETHING GRACEFUL AT THE SAME TIME i didnt manage to capture the gentleness of the pose. Drat. I actually enjoyed that class. Glad I didnt chicken out. Kinda makes me sad bcos this is the only week of figure drawing in the studio. I actually did help me to develop skills in drawing. Never really tried to draw realistically before because I thought that making those drawings look beautiful required talent which i didnt hav. Now I realise that I have not been pushing myself hard enough. They are really good artists in the class.

And we got a major assigmment due on Monday. Great. I hav another one that i'm starting tomorrow. Its a free day so me and an architectural gang are going to the Zoo. Nono we're not goofing off. We've each been assigned animals and mine's a'Regent and Satin Bower birds, Channel Billed Cuckoos'. Longest name on the list. We're doing site planning. After one lecture. Geez. The Rod Steward guy is obssessed (not bcos of the assignment, i was prepared for that). He's our lecturer. He dresses like a 50's rock star. Today he wore a denim jacket. it wouldnt hav been so bad if it werent for the studs.

Oh yea, my mom picked me up late today. My fault. We argued over the venue and there was some confucian. I waited and walked around for about an hour and 15 minutes and then walked to college to use the phone. I could have used the bus or walked all the way back. But my nature betrayed me. Ho-hum. At least I got to catch up with some frens. Thank goodness for good buddies.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Uni Start

Slept quite badly last nite. Guess I was more nervous about uni than I thought. The day started out pretty well though. Had time to sufficiently groom myself and water the plants. I think it was yesterday when I found the seedlings had started to spring out. I was worried about that since they were about 3 days late (according to the packet the seeds came in) and the medium drained water a little too well. So I put them in a plastic bag to trap the vapour (and to. Hey, it works.

Oh yea uni... I did manage to catch the bus and not get knocked over. The bus driver was nice. Everyone got out at the main campus and left me alone in the bus with him so I talked to him for awhile. Its lonely being the only 1st year architect. Then when I got there the door was locked. My card wont open it. At least someone who worked there was passing by. There was another guy there but he never introduced himself. Then we provided some support over the glass doors to the poor ppl who didnt make it. They eventually made it and now I know 2 of their names. Esthee and Rob. Esthee is nice. Too bad we're not in the same group.

At around 11:00 I had to go to Subiaco cos everyone was freaking out about art supplies. At least class didnt start until 2.00. Note to self, even though u are not a first year and know ur way around campus, never miss orientation. After I got back it was still 12. Decided to hav lunch and sketch at Uni. The class was empty and LuLu mistook me for doing work alone. Her group had to analyse a poem and make a collage. Oh yea some people mistook me for a second year. Must be the (false) sense of confidence. I found out that Rob does like manga as well.

When it was finally time for class I paired up with Kate, Catherine and was it Leslie? Well, we did say we'd forget everyone's names tomorrow. Studio really makes u feel insecure. Or its just me again. At least I dont completely suck but I felt like the worst in our group. We arent allowed to erase and we had to try to draw using the techniques that John our instructor told us to. He did pass me twice and commented that I draw nice eyes. Thanks to my obssession with anime. The second time he gave me some advice on this collection of stuff that we had to draw. He was very encouraging. This Thursday, we will be sketching models. Nudemodelsomg.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Clay stuff





Look! Amanda's unicorn and Felicity's monkeys! Cant get a clearer shot bcos they are too small. See how small it is compare wif my finger...

Friday, February 17, 2006

I'm bored...

...so I'll blog!
The time in my blog is off. Noticed that for awhile now but couldnt be bothered. Didnt think I'd be using this blog anyway. Its 12:48AM Saturday right now.

My dad went back home yesterday morning. Its just not the same without him. I sorta wished the rest of my family didnt have to move here because now he's home alone. Also because now I have to deal with them. Not that I do not like them being here. Sometimes I just wanna be alone to think and that's hard when they're around and they worry about me. I want to prove myself to them and I want to be independant and I want to make it on my own and even if I make mistakes I want to deal with it by myself and not have ppl admonish me. And (argh) by mom has been bitching about my weight and stuff. I really hate her comments. "Why is your bum so ugly?" (or something like that. I dont really care and I wish she didnt.) Today I brought my favourite handbag out with me again and she exclaimed in surprise,"You REALLY like that yucky bag, dont you?" (Try explaining sentimental value to her. Go on, I dare you to)
And on the topic of boys...I dont even want to go there on our conversations.

Anyway, before dad left he got me 2 potted plants:) I'm trying to start a miniature garden on the verandah. I'll put up the pictures sometime later. He also made me sign an agreement to look after my brothers. I dont really mind that but did he have to leave me here with mom. At least I am not accountable for her. It irritates me sometimes but she's a really dominating person. She wants to make decisions on everyones behalf and even if we dissagree and present valid arguments she'll try to force her reasoning on us.

For example...
She wants to buy a HOUSE. We already have an APARTMENT.
Why?
1. She has to bring my brothers to school every morning and she hates the amount of time it takes. (she wants somewhere close by)
2. She has to carry shopping bags up to our room when the lift is not working (which is often) We live on the 4th floor...
3. Almost everyone is selling off now that the price of the rooms are going up.
4. Neighbour problems.There was a pipe burst in the next door unit which flooded 2 of our rooms which no one took responsibility for. This is going to be a minor claims case. And someone broke into the penthouse. (But these 2 points was b4 she decided she wanted a house)
5. Its noisy. She can hear the streetnoises. It doesnt bother anyone else. (Its mostly in the morning but she gets annoyed just hearing cars on the road)

Ok, my reasoning why we dont need a house.
1. We love this place. (Sentimental value. Please someone help her understand. She honestly thinks we're stupid for not trying to get a better deal. The value of the property went up)
2. We spent money buying it and the furniture.
3. We'd have to take money out of this account to pay for the house which generates enough interest to pay for our studies and stuff.
4. Ok, she's trying to get a place close to uni, I found that i can take a bus no problem from where I'm staying but if we get that house, it'd be closer alright but I'd have to walk very far.
5. I've seen the house she wants to buy. If I'd have to describe it in a single word, 'decrepit'. And also, 'compact'. There's one bathroom. The rooms are smaller than the apartments. She wants to know if she can fit 2 beds in one room. (The living room, maybe)

Well, those are my reasons. Maybe I'm just being childish and stuborn again. But then again I cant agree when things arent well thought out.
Someone who didnt know me the other day didnt believe I was 20. She said I acted like a (did she say f___king?) 14 year old. Ok, so I said sorry, I act 14? I just find it irritating when ppl ask me questions and dont believe the answers. Then she threatened me. "Watch who u are f___king with. U're messing wif the wrong bit_h" RIGHT. And she didnt believe I was 20. I should've asked her if she had a Y chromosome. Instead i just laughed. Dont worry, Kevin knows her. I am sure she was joking...

Oh yea and yesterday I made clay 'no-evil monkeys' and today I made a Kero from Card Captor Sakura eating cake.

Dear God I am thankful this blog is privatised.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Picture for profile

Hey its me! Taken during Chinese New Year. About 2 days after fainting....

Posting a picture

Look! Ladybugs. This picture is from Deviantart by rudib. I saved it because I thought it was cute. Its a party! According to the artist, the ladies get dumped by a plane over crops to help farmers with pests and once they accidentally dropped them near a town. I'm guessing this picture was taken near a jetty. The title for this picture is Luck On A Stick.

So this is what it feels like to blog

Wow. I have a blog.